I don't want to study math without true understanding, Conceptual knowledge is not understanding. Books describe things in an abstract manner without any context. And even worse, they always make assumptions that turns the material inaccessible.
I'm not after procedural knowledge. Is there a method to truly make sense of "mathematical expressions", understand the parts of models and the relationship between them?
P.S: My question may seem vague, but really I want to know how can I truly understand math, not learn a set of actions to solve a problem that I can't contextualize and that I don't know it's why. If my question still vague please just tell me as a mathematician how you get your aha moments and what you can say to a complete beginner?