In the book of Classical Mechanics by Golstein, at page 11, it is given that
When the forces are all conservative, the second term in Eq. (1.29) can be rewritten as a sum over pairs of particles, the terms for each pair being of the form $$ -\int_1^2(\nabla_i V_{ij} \cdot d{\bf s}_i + \nabla_j V_{ij} \cdot d{\bf s}_j) $$ If the difference vector ${\bf r}_i - {\bf r}_j$ is denoted by ${\bf r}_{ij}$ and $\nabla_{ij}$ stands for the gradient with respect to ${\bf r}_{ij}$, then $$\nabla_i V_{ij} = \nabla_{ij} V_{ij} = - \nabla_j V_{ji}$$
However, I cannot understand how does the author concludes the equality
$$\nabla_i V_{ij} = \nabla_{ij} V_{ij} = - \nabla_j V_{ji}$$
Because the potential $V_{ij}$ depends on the difference ${\bf x}_{ij} = {\bf x}_i - {\bf x}_j$, so
$$ \frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_j} = \frac{\partial {\bf x}_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_j} \frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_{ij}} = \frac{\partial ({\bf x}_i - {\bf x}_j)}{\partial {\bf x}_j} \frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_{ij}} = -\frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_{ij}} $$
Similarly
$$ \frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_i} = +\frac{\partial V_{ij}}{\partial {\bf x}_{ij}} $$
Or in Goldstein's notation
$$ \nabla_i V_{ij} = \nabla_{ij} V_{ij} = -\nabla_j V_{ij} $$