I have a ring $R$ with $K\le M$ and submodules $M_1,M_2$. If we have that: $$M_1\cap K=M_2\cap K \text{ and } M_1+K=M_2+K$$ can we conclude that $M_1=M_2$?
I don't think that this is true but it seems like if "the stuff lost by qutienting by $K$ is the same and the stuff that is not lost is the same" then we conclude that the whole thing is the same.
No, it isn't true. Take $R = k$ some field, then take $M = k^2$, $M_1 = \langle(0, 1)\rangle$, $M_2 = \langle(1, 1)\rangle$, $K = \langle(1, 0)\rangle$.
Then we have $M_1 \cap K = M_2 \cap K = 0$, $M_1 + K = M_2 + K = M$, but $M_1 \neq M_2$.