On Wikipedia it is stated that
points of the form $[x:y:1]$ are the usual real plane and
points of the form $[x:y:0] $ are the line at infinity.
But this choice $z=0$ seems arbitrary to me. The projective space seems pretty symmetric so one might as well say $[0:y:z]$ or $[x:0:z]$ are the line at infinity.
What am I missing? Why is a point at infinity iff $z=0$?
The choice $z=1$ for the real plane seems equally arbitrary. I expect everything but the line at infinity to correspond to the usual real plane.
Again:
What am I missing? Why does $[x:y:z]$ (with $x,y,z\neq 0$) not correspond to a point on the real plane but $[x:y:1]$ does?
It is indeed arbitrary to choose $z=0$ to be the line at infinity. It would be just as reasonable to choose $y=0$, or $x=0$, or really any other line in the projective plane. What you have observed is that the symmetries of the projective plane do not preserve the line at infinity: that is, the "line at infinity" is not an intrinsically defined subset of the projective plane, but merely an arbitrary choice. It is conventional to choose $z=0$.
As for the points in the usual plane being $[x:y:1]$, here you really are missing something. Remember that by definition, $[x:y:z]=[tx:ty:tz]$ for any nonzero $t$. This means that if you have a point $[x:y:z]$ with $z\neq0$, then it is equal to the point $[x/z:y/z:1]$. So every point with $z\neq 0$ can be written a form where its last coordinate is $1$. In fact, it can be written uniquely in this form, since $1/z$ is the only choice of $t$ to multiply that will make the last coordinate $1$.