When I read Massey's Algebraic Topology:An Introduction,page 9,he points out that the topological type of $S_1$#$S_2$(here $S_i$ is surface,# is connected sum,i.e.,cutting an open disc $D_i$ in each surface,and then gluing the boundary circle through a homeomorphism h) does not depend on the choice of discs $D_i$ or the choice of the homeomorphism h.
The independence of h is quite evident,but I don't know why the choice of discs is irrelevant.Is there any refference?
Wikipedia has an extremely short "Disc Theorem" entry which references Palais' "Extending diffeomorphisms" paper. It says
Disc Theorem. For a smooth, connected, $n$-dimensional manifold $M$, if $f, f'\colon D^n \to M$ are two equi-oriented embeddings then they are ambiently isotopic.
This is one of the fundamental results in Differential Topology, and in particular it implies that connected sums are well-defined wrt choice of embeddings. There might be a simpler proof in $2$D, but this is the standard result which is typically cited for all dimensions.
(Here "ambiently isotopic" means there is an isotopy $H: M\times I \to M$ which begins at the identity map and induces an isotopy between $f$ and $f'$; "equi-oriented" means that $f$ preserves orientation iff $f'$ does. In fact the proof of Palais' theorem shows a bit more: the ambient isotopy can be chosen to be fixed outside of a compact, contractible subspace containing the images of $f$ and $f'$.)
It's been a while since I looked at it, but a proof sketch sort of goes like this: First choose a small open tube around the unit interval $I\subset U\subset \mathbb{R}^2$ and an embedding $\gamma\colon \bar U \to M$ where $\gamma(0) = f(0)$, $\gamma(1) = f'(0)$. Now pick a small disc $D\subset U$ centred at $0$, and construct an ambient isotopy in the tube $F\colon U\times I \to U$ which transports $D$ to a disc centred at $1$. Then you have to construct ambient isotopies $H_1, H_2$ on $M$ which shrink $f(D^n)$ and $f'(D^n)$ down to $\gamma(D)$ and $\gamma(F_1(D))$ respectively (I guess this step uses a linearization trick). Then these three isotopies are pieced together to give the result.