Right off the bat I factored a $4$ from the radicand to get it into a form such that I can leverage $${\tan^2(\theta)} = {\sec^2(\theta)} - 1$$
Then I set
$$\begin{align*} \frac{25}{4} x^2 &= \sec^2(\theta) \\ x &= \frac{2}{5}\sec(\theta) \\ \mathrm{d}x &= \frac{2}{5} \sec(\theta)\tan(\theta) \, \mathrm{d} \theta \end{align*}$$
Now I went ahead and substituted into the integrand; after simplification and evaluation of the new integral we get
$$2\tan\theta - 2\theta$$
Now to sub back in terms of $x$ by using a right triangle $$2\tan(\theta) = \sqrt{ 25x^2 - 4}$$
(Note: on the right triangle, Opposite = $\sqrt{ 25x^2 - 4}$, Adjacent = $2$, hypotenuse = $5x$)
However for $2\theta$ I made the resubstitution that
$$ x = \frac{2}{5} \sec\theta $$
so to solve for $\theta$
$$\operatorname {arcsec} \frac{5}{2} x = \theta$$
However that was the wrong resubstitution for $\theta$; the correct one was
$$\theta = \arccos \left(\frac{2}{5x}\right)$$
How did $\arccos$ even get into the picture? We already had $x = \frac{2}{5}\sec(\theta)$ so intuitively I just solved for theta. I don't understand how it's $\arccos$ and not $\operatorname {arcsec}$; can someone help me make sense of the last part?

$x = \frac{2}{5} \cosh \theta$ and then you get a linear combination of $\cosh\theta$ and $\mathrm{sech\,}\theta$ to integrate, both of which are standard.