I've done some research already and discovered that the formula I need to do this is
$$\frac{1}{b-a}\int_a^b f(x)\;dx$$
With $a$ and $b$ being the start and end points of the section of curve I want to get the average of.
What I need to know is how I translate a maths $y = ???$ (featuring $x$) function into $f(x)\;dx$, so I can actually work out what the formula I need is.
I gather that $f(x)$ means "a formula of a curve" and that $f(x)\;dx$ means a formula for figuring out the area beneath the curve of the given $f(x)$, but I haven't been able to find a manual for how to translate a given $f(x)$ into the $f(x)\;dx$ that gives it's area.
Can somebody help me with this?
No offense, but your math seems to be far behind of what you wish to achieve with it. If you can live with a value near the average I suggest you take some values between $a$ and $b$, like say
$x_i = a + i\frac{b-a}{n}$
for some fixed numer $n$, calculate the function at these values ($f(x_i)$), sum them all up and divide by $n$. The higher your $n$ the more accurate your average will be.
The big-stretched-out-"S" as you call it (integral) does exactly that, but with $n$ going to infinity. If you want to really understand this - and it is a really beautiful theory with some unimaginable results, everybody should see it - you should read some of the standard literature on calculus. This might also be a promising start:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integral_calculus
To interpret the integral as the area between the curve and the x axis is only one way to see it. In my view this way does not help a lot in this case.