Every time I stuble upon a difficult problem in math, I can't even figure out where to look at.
finally I do some trial and error and give up, and ask in mathematics discord about this problem, every time, thinking and hoping that there's a typo in the problem.
some person who's good at math leaves a subtle hint about how to solve it. The approach hasn't ever been seen or thought by me before. I'm shaken with existential dread for 5 mins and the cycle continues.
The question is,how do I know if I'm thinking how a mathematician is supposed to think? What am I missing? Is there something more than just trying to blindly solve problems?
people say you get good at math by doing more of it. I can't figure out how to do more math when you can't even approach a problem you never saw before.
(Do keep in mind that I'm still at intermediate algebra(midschool)
First of all, make sure you understand what exactly the problem is asking of you. Try to condense it down into a couple of lines (if possible). That's one of the biggest problems people face I think - not actually understanding what the question wants/means. If you can't figure it out - rather than ask for a full solution - ask for the meaning of the question. Otherwise - you'll be given a solution that you also won't understand, and of what use is that?
Other than that, if you do understand the question yet still can't make headway of it - there are some standard problem-solving procedures that you can follow. People who do these things usually do so without consciously thinking about what they are doing, so it can be very difficult for someone to understand what's going on or how the person got there in the first place. Without a concrete problem, standard problem-solving techniques are really the only things one can give you.
These things may not always work (some problems genuinely are just harder and require some radically new approaches - otherwise, Mathematics would be easy!) but some things you should definitely have in your "toolbox":
${(1)}$: Trying simpler cases. If you have a rather complicated problem - sometimes, you can find a simpler version of the problem to try. Maybe you get rid of some condition, or add a condition on top and it turns out the resultant, new problem is much simpler and easier for you to solve. Always try these. It's not necessarily a waste of time - you can sometimes find ways of connecting this simpler version and the more complicated one together
${(2)}$: Knowing your proof methods. This includes proof by contradiction, proof by induction, direct proof (that is - just argue the point directly with other known true statements), proof by contraposition, proof by construction - even proof by exhaustion. These are just a few of the many general proof methods - and the more you know, the more problems you are likely to be able to solve.
${(3)}$: Know your theorems - and most importantly (this is really very very important) - KNOW THEIR LIMITATIONS!!!. People often blindly apply a theorem without really making sure the problem even satisfies the conditions of the theorem, so be careful. Knowing your theorems gives you a whole set of true statements you can play with to get to your answer - like a puzzle!
${(4)}$: counter-examples. Maybe you have a problem that is along the lines of "Is statement ${X}$ true?" and you may think statement ${X}$ is not true. In this case - it maybe wise to try and find some examples that fit the problem statement and disprove statement ${X}$. The example could be rather complicated - but try to find the simplest of such example. Usually one exists!
${(5)}$: Try and find equivalent forms of your problem. If you cannot directly solve the problem - try and find a different problem that is exactly equivalent. You may find that problem easier.
${(6)}$: Know your standard "tricks". There are a lot of problems in Mathematics where the solution (at least the most "popular" solution) requires the use of some sort of non-trivial trick. In analysis for example, we are always "adding $0$ in a special way" by doing something like ${+c - c}$. These are just standard tricks you should have in the back of your mind.
If you try these things it'll definitely help you solve many standard problems. Definitely practice lots, and try to enjoy doing the Mathematics. If you enjoy it, and approach problems in a calm manner - you will find it so much easier. If you cannot solve it immediately - that's okay! Take it as a challenge, and keep at it. The end will be satisfying once you finally crack it. That's why I enjoy Mathematics - it's so much fun at the end when you finally have some insight and manage to solve something!