Source: Linear Algebra by David Lay (4 edn 2011). p. 269 Theorem 5.1.1.
For simplicity, consider the $3\times 3$ case. If $A$ is upper triangular, then $ A-\lambda I= \begin{bmatrix} a_{11} & a_{12} & a_{13}\\ 0 & a_{22} & a_{23}\\ 0 & 0 & a_{33} \end{bmatrix} - \begin{bmatrix} \lambda & 0 & 0\\ 0 & \lambda & 0\\ 0 & 0 & \lambda \end{bmatrix} =\begin{bmatrix} a_{11}-\lambda & a_{12} & a_{13}\\ 0 & a_{22}-\lambda & a_{23}\\ 0 & 0 & a_{33}-\lambda \\ \end{bmatrix}$
$\lambda$ is an eigenvalue of $A \iff$ The equation $(A-\lambda I)x=0$ has a nontrivial solution. $\iff$ $(A-\lambda I)x=0 $ has a free variable $ \iff $
Because of the zero entries in $A-\lambda I$, at least one of the entries on the diagonal of $A-\lambda I$ is zero.
$\color{red}{\iff} \lambda$ equals $\color{red}{one \, of } $ the entries $a_{11},\ a_{22},\ a_{33}$ in $A$. For the lower triangular case, see Question 5.1.28.
$1.$ I don't understand the red $\color{red}{\iff}$. $a_{11} - \lambda = 0 \iff$ The first column is $\mathbf{0}. \iff$ $x_1$ is a free variable. But what about the other entries?
$2.$ I linked an analogous question. How does the proof overhead proves that all of the eigenvalues = all its diagonal entries, when it states $\color{red}{one \, of } $?
Not sure I get your question perfectly but :
$\lambda$ is an eigenvalue of A $\Leftrightarrow \lambda $ is a root of the characteristic polynom of A $\Leftrightarrow |A -\lambda Id| =0 \Leftrightarrow \Pi_{i}^n (a_{ii}-\lambda)=0 \Leftrightarrow \exists i\ \lambda =a_{ii}$.
Most equivalence are quite obvious ( you need to know that the determinant of a tringular matrix is the product of its diagonal elements and that the kernel of a matrix which determinant is 0 has a non trivial kernel).