I have two questions, one is in the title:
If $\sum(-1)^{n+1} \frac1n$ can be made to sum to any number then why it is equal to $\ln 2$? Certainly it occurs since the divergence of each of the two subseries (negatives and positives) guarantees that we will always be able to equate that to any desired number but why we choose $\ln 2$ instead?
For example, $\ln 2 = 1- \frac12 + \frac13 - \frac14 + \dots = 1- \frac12 - \frac14 + + \frac13 - \frac16 - \frac18 + \frac15 - \dots = \frac12 \ln 2 $
And second, which necessary and sufficient conditions a series must have to converge to one specific number if it converges to a number at all? And what proof is that for those necessary and sufficient conditions?
The result you are using is called the Riemann Rearrangement Theorem. It says that if a series is conditionally convergent, then for any real number there is a rearrangement of the series such that the new series converges to that number. There are two points to note here:
You can find a proof of the Riemann Rearrangement Theorem in any standard textbook on real analysis, say Walter Rudin's Principles of Mathematical Analysis.
It is a straightforward exercise to show using an $\epsilon$-$\delta$ argument that an absolutely convergent series is convergent. It may be slightly more difficult to show that any rearrangement of an absolutely convergent series converges to the same value, but this site has covered that scenario as well.