So I've just started learning topology and a lot of the definitions confuse me. My main problem is that some of the definitions are quite inconsistent to me for example in topology without tears the author says that a topology $\tau$ is a set of subsets of $X$ and then he proceeds with the axioms. However I've also seen a lot from other sources that a topology is a family of subsets of $X$ and then they proceeds to describe the same axioms. However they do not refer to the topology $\tau$ as being a set at all which confuses me.
I think my confusion is the definition on what a family actually is ive seen lots of confusing definitions on what a family is like it is a surjective function however I cannot seem to grasp the idea.
So why do they define them differently and what is a family?
Thanks in advance.
I think the word "family" is somewhat ambiguous. For example, Wikipedia says
Here allowed to contain repeated copies of any given member means what Wikipedia denotes as an indexed family :
The first quotation shows that a family of sets can be understood either as a set of sets or as function $f : I \to P$ where $P$ is a set of sets. This is indeed vague and leaves much scope for interpretation. The same vagueness of notation can be found in many textbooks.
For a given set $X$ we may consider
sets $\tau$ of subsets of $X$, i.e. subsets of $\tau \subset \mathfrak P(X)$ = power set of $X$.
"indexed collections" of subsets of $X$, i.e. functions $\theta : I \to \mathfrak P(X)$.
Each subset $\tau \subset \mathfrak P(X)$ can be canonically identified with the inclusion function $\iota(\tau) : \tau \hookrightarrow \mathfrak P(X)$; this produces a "self-indexed collection" of subsets of $X$. Conversely, each function $\theta : I \to \mathfrak P(X)$ determines the subset $\text{im}(\theta) = \theta(I) \subset \mathfrak P(X)$. Clearly $\text{im}(\iota(\tau)) = \tau$, but in general $\iota(\text{im}(\theta)) \ne \theta$. In fact, for a given $\tau \subset \mathfrak P(X)$ there are many $\theta : I \to \mathfrak P(X)$ such that $\text{im}(\theta) = \tau$. One can even show that the "collection" of all $\theta : I \to \mathfrak P(X)$ such that $\text{im}(\theta) = \tau$ is not even a set, but a proper class.
The standard is to define a topology on a set $X$ as a set of subsets of $X$ satisfying suitable axioms.
If you regard the word family as a synonym for set, then you do not get conflicting definitions. If you regard a family as a function, then a topology on $X$ would be some function $\theta : I \to \mathfrak P(X)$ from an index set $I$ to the power set of $X$ which is often written in the form $\{U_i\}_{i \in I}$ (indexed collection of subsets). You can easily modify the axioms for a topology to obtain similar axioms for an indexed collection of subsets of $X$. It is fairly obvious that $\theta$ satisfies these modified axioms if and ony if $\text{im}(\theta)$ is a topology in the standard sense. The essential disadvantage of the alternative definition is that indices are completely unnessary - many formally distinct families of "indexed topologies" give the same "standard topology".