As the title says, I'm trying to prove that if $X/R$ is a Hausdorff space then $R\subset X\times X$ is closed.
I have several questions about this:
$(1)$ What exactly is $R$?
I thought of $R$ as an equivalence relation, but I never thought of that relation (or any) as a set. What are the elements of this set?; my intuitive idea would be that $R$ contains elements of the equivalence classes (I would call them representants, but I don't know if that gives the correct idea), this is, an element $x_1$ such that because of it I can have the class $[x_1]\subset X/R$, an element $x_2\neq x_1$ such that $[x_2]\subset X/R$, etc; but I don't know if the way I'm trying to visualize this is right...
$(2)$ $X/R$ Hausdorff?.
I find less intuitive thinking a set of equivalence classes as a Hausdorff space than a more regular one (namely, $\mathbb{R}^n$ or similar). Then the hypothesis here is that given $[x],[y]\subset X/R\;\exists U,V\subset X\times X$ open such that $[x]\in U,[y]\in V, U\cap V=\emptyset$.
$(2.1)$ But why $R\subset X\times X$?
Following the idea of $(1)$ maybe would be correct think of $R$ as the set $\{(a,b)|\;r:X\to X,\, r(a)=b\}$?. Here the $b$ value would be one 'representant' of the class, then if $a_1,a_2\subset[b]$ would be $r(a_1)=r(a_2)=b$. But again, I don't know if my intuition is ok...
$(2.2)$ Finally, why is $R$ closed if $X/R$ Hausdorff.
I've considered several ways, none of them seems to work for me:
$(a)$ Showing that accumulations points of $R$ belongs to $R$. Problem: How do I relate accumulation points and the Hausdorff condition?.
$(b)$ $R$ closed in $X\times X$ if $R=R_1\times R_2$, each of them included in $X$. Problem: How to show that $R_i$ is closed in X?.
Also, is there an intuitive way of picturing quotient spaces?. Recommendation of books with a clear treatment about this topic are highly appreciated.
Firstly, by definition a relation on $X$ is a subset of $X \times X$. This is how relations are defined in set theory! Any subset of $X \times X$ is called a (binary) relation on $X$. Instead of $(x,y) \in R$ one also writes $xRy$. An equivalence relation of course has to satisfy some extra conditions (which I assume you know). These imply that the sets of the form $[x] = \{y \in X: xRy \}$, the classes of $X$ under $R$, partition $X$.
Then $X/R = \{[x]: x \in X \}$, by definition, and we have the so-called quotient map $q: X \rightarrow X/R$, defined by $q(x) = [x]$, and the topology on $X/R$ is defined by $O \subset X/R$ open iff $q^{-1}[O] ( = \{x: q(x) = [x] \in O \})$ open in $X$.
Now, assume $X/R$ is Hausdorff, we can show $R \subset X \times X$ is closed: take $(x,y) \in (X \times X) \setminus R$, and we have to show the latter set is open, so we need to find $O_1 \times O_2 \subset X \times X$ (basic) open such that $(x,y) \in O_1 \times O_2 \subset (X \times X)\setminus R$, or equivalently $(O_1 \cap O_2) \cap R = \emptyset$. But $(x,y) \notin R$ by definition means that $xRy$ does not hold, and this means (check it!) that $[x] \neq [y]$.
Now apply the Hausdorff condition on $X/R$ (where the points are exactly these classes!) to find open disjoint sets $O,O'$ such that $[x] \in O \subset X/R$ and $[y] \in O' \subset X/R$ with $O \cap O' = \emptyset$.
By definition, $x \in O_1 := q^{-1}[O] \subset X$ is open, and also $y \in O_2:= q^{-1}[O'] \subset X$ is also open. And these sets are disjoint, as $O$ and $O'$ are. Finally check that $(O_1 \times O_2) \cap R = \emptyset$, as required.