Suppose we have two independent mean-zero random variables $X,Y$. Consider the distribution of $Y$ conditional on the outcome $X+Y\ge t$, for some $t$. As $t$ approaches infinity, we can ask about the limit of these conditional distributions; in particular, I'm curious about the cases where
$\lim_{t\to\infty}\mathbb{E}[Y|X+Y\ge t] = 0$
If $X$ and $Y$ are both normal distributions, for instance, this will not happen; the expected value of $Y$ will increase linearly with $t$. However, if $X$ is distributed like $e^{-x^{0.5}}$ (for large $x$) and $Y$ like $e^{-x^{0.9}}$, then the conditional distribution for large $t$ will look very close to that of $Y$ itself, and the effect on $Y$'s expected value will go to nothing.
I think there's a sort of threshold effect here around tails above or below $e^{-x}$; in particular, I believe the expected $Y$ value goes to zero when $X$ is heavy-tailed (in the sense of having subexponential right tails) and $Y$ is lighter-tailed than $X$, but the exact formal conditions necessary are eluding me and I could be mistaken.
I'd be interested in seeing a proof of this behavior under relatively relaxed conditions on $X$ and $Y$; for instance, I have a proof with some messiness if $X$ is fat-tailed (bounded below by a power law) and $Y$ has tails that are less than $X$ by a superlinear factor (along with some niceness conditions on the distributions), but I believe the result should extend to a larger class of distributions where $X$ and $Y$ can be closer together. I'm specifically interested in how much lighter-tailed $Y$ has to be - for instance, I don't think it suffices to have the PDF of $Y$ be merely a constant factor less than that of $X$ in the limit, but perhaps not much more than that is needed?
Pointers to related literature on problems like this would also be welcome!
I ended up proving a statement like this with a friend. We showed the following two theorems:
No expected increase: When $X$ is subexponential and $Y$ has tails that are at least a factor of $x^{1+\epsilon}$ lighter than $X$, then $\lim_{t\to\infty}\mathbb{E}[Y|X+Y\ge t] = 0$.
Infinite expected value: When $X$ has an arbitrarily light tail in the sense that $\lim_{x\to\infty}\frac{\bar F_X(x+1)}{\bar F_X(x)}=0$, then $\lim_{t\to\infty}\mathbb{E}[Y|X+Y\ge t] = \infty$ for any unbounded $Y$.
Proofs are at this post; the proof of the first statement is a fairly lengthy analysis of the relevant integrals by placing appropriate bounds on the integrals within each of four regions.