I think the way that I've come to think about mathematics is becoming problematic and I'm wondering if I should abandon it. When I study mathematics, I find myself trying to compare the mathematical constructs, operations, entities, and even the basic terminology (which I have come to understand is incredibly elegant, precise, and deliberate) to real world, physical, even visible phenomena. I think under the pretense that the things I do in the mathematical world represent real, fundamental structures in this Universe. For example, the fact that terms can 'cancel' out in an equation has profound implications on the workings of the Universe and should be heeded and studied as such.
In other words, I try to make sense of the things I learn in math classes by finding their analogs in the real word, because I assume they must have at least one. Thinking with this frame of mind has led me to appreciate mathematics in a deeply profound and beautiful way, and it's the mindset that I try to share with other people when explaining why mathematics should be studied and why people describe it as beautiful. When I learn something new in a math class, I try to understand and remember that these are not simply tedious equations and formulas that mean nothing and come from nowhere, but that they have real physical and, mostly, intuitive meaning.
All that being said, I'm taking my first liner algebra course this term, and it's becoming harder to utilize this mentality, not simply because linear algebra deals with such things as infinite dimensionality which we obviously have no intuitive way of grasping or visualizing, but really just because the class seems more about computation and calculation than concept and philosophy.
I worry that my thinking has led me astray, primarily because it becomes hard to focus on just doing sheer, brute force calculation without wondering and worrying about what these constructs really mean. This leads me to fall behind in lecture, take hours longer than is probably necessary on the homework, and add to an overall level of frustration that has been building for some time now because of it, which only clouds my understanding even more.
My question is really more of a plea for advice. Should I abandon my way of thinking about mathematics as though it will become increasingly unhelpful in future courses and topics, or is linear algebra truly more about numerical gymnastics than tangible interpretation? Should I focus, currently, on simply learning the algorithms for computation now assuming that the philosophical groundwork will be exposed later on, after which the conceptual work that I'm looking for will yield itself?
I'd really appreciate responses from the people that frequent this site. I've been nothing but overwhelmed at the level of quality, thought, and sincerity in the answers I've read here and throughout the conversations I've eavesdropped so far.
Also, please direct me to similar questions if you know of any, and help me with the tagging of this question, as it is the first one I've ever asked on this site.
The tension between following abstract rules as against intuition has been present in mathematics for centuries if not much longer. From the time of Newton and Leibniz onwards mathematics became more algebraic due to the calculus. For example, the eighteenth century mathematician Lagrange played a critical role in moving away away from diagrams towards equations.
(source MacTutor history of mathematics)
But other eminent mathematicians were concerned about losing meaning. For example the nineteenth century Augustus de Morgan wrote
One of my favourite mathematical quotes is due to him. He compares solving a mathematical problem to solving a jigsaw puzzle of a picture of a map. Those mathematicians who follow rules to transform from one line to the next are like people who do a jigsaw upside down, caring only for the forms of the pieces without regard to the big picture underneath.
(see, e.g., Mathematics in Victorian Britain on google books)
I'm not a gifted mathematician, unlike some on this site, so you may take my personal experience with a pinch of salt. Nevertheless I've got a deal of sympathy with your experience. I've often gotten frustrated and bogged down when I couldn't understand the big picture or get a feel for what was going on. For example, some years ago I struggled when I studied a waves and diffusion course presented in a very abstract fashion, and only "got it" when I bought a Dover book on PDEs for Scientists and Engineers. If that rings a bell, then I'd encourage you to seek out books, websites, tools and other resources to relate the abstract to the practical.
The second thing for me is that the more I study science and mathematics, the more I find that they are like a language. I once studied cell biology in great depth, which is a hellish in terms of memorizing facts, and intuition seemed nowhere to be found. It was only once I had memorized everything for the exam that things seemed to slot into place and I could see the patterns. Mathematics, although less about learning endless reams of facts, is, I find, a little like that. You have do the exercises, practise the equations, learn the vocabulary of the subject area you are studying and then, only once you know the vocabulary, are you in a position to form the intuition to connect things together. So you need to have some patience and faith and work through the grind of the calculations in the knowledge that once you've mastered the techniques you will be in a position to have an intuitive understanding. Sometimes you need the vocabulary to see the poetry.
My final thought is that there are great people in all walks of life who think abstractly, and great people who think intuitively. The important thing is to know who you are, know your own strengths and weaknesses, find out what you like and what you don't -- and where you need to do the latter adapt rather than abandon your approach.