What is the fastest growing total computable function you can describe in a few lines? Well, not necessarily the fastest - I just would like to know how far an ingenious mathematician can go using only a few lines, and what systematic approaches exist for this purpose.
How farther you can go if we the restriction of computability is lifted?
For a nice fast-growing function, consider the following:
Given rooted trees $S$ and $T$ whose vertices are labeled from $\{1,2,\cdots,k\}$, define a gap embedding as a label preserving embedding $h$ from $S$ into $T$ that satisfies the following: given $u$, $v$ vertices of $S$ such that $v$ is the child of $u$. For any vertex $w$ of $T$ that lies in between $h(u)$ and $h(v)$, $label(w) \ge label(h(v))$.
Given this definition, define $ETree(k)$ to be the longest sequence $T_i$ of rooted trees labeled from $\{1,2,\cdots,k\}$ such that $T_i$ has no more than $i$ vertices, and for no $i < j$ is there a gap embedding from $T_i$ into $T_j$.
The above construction is due to Harvey Friedman. He showed that no such sequence could be infinite (i.e. that rooted labeled trees are well-quasi-ordered under gap embedding), and it follows from Koenig's Tree Lemma that there is a longest such sequence.
The function $ETree(k)$ grows extremely fast. It grows at the rate of $F_{\psi_{\Omega_1} (\Omega_\omega)} (k)$. (Look up the fast-growing hierarchy.)
One can also get extremely fast growing functions using ordinal hierarchies. Let $I(a)$ be the $a$'th weakly inacessible cardinal. Consider the following: (here $a,b,c,d,e$ are ordinals, $\phi$ is the Veblen function, $C_n(a,b)$ are sets of ordinals, $\psi$ and $f$ are functions on ordinals.)
$C_0(a,b) = b \cup {0}$
$C_{n+1}(a,b) = \{c+d, \phi(c,d), \aleph_c, I(c), \psi(e,d), f(e,c,d) | c,d,e \in C_n(a,b), e < a\}$
$C(a,b) = \cup C_n(a,b)$
$f(a,n,b) =$ largest finite ordinal in $C_n(a,b)$
$\psi(a,b) = b$'th ordinal such that $b \notin C(a,b)$
Then, for example, $f(I(I(I(I(0)))),x,x)$ is an extremely fast growing function, much faster than $ETree$. To help understand this construction, see "Ordinal collapsing function" on wikipedia. If that is still confusing, look at
http://math.ucr.edu/home/baez/week236.html
for an introduction to ordinals, and
http://groups.google.com/group/sci.math/browse_thread/thread/b4b2769c6359b3e9/5317b10cbf60196
for a description of how ordinals can be used to define large numbers.
EDIT: Perhaps some more explanation is needed. $C(a,b)$ is the smallest set of ordinals containing all ordinals less than $b$ and $0$ and closed under the operations listed in the second line. The definition may appear circular, but it is well-defined by induction on $a$; given $f(c,n,b)$ and $\psi(c,b)$ for $c < a$, we define $C_n(a,b)$, and given $C_n(a,b)$, we define $f(a,n,b)$ and $\psi(a,b)$.
Some analysis of $f(a,n,b)$:
$f(0,0,b)$ is the largest finite ordinal in $C_0(0,b) = b$, which is $b-1$.
$f(0,1,b)$ is $2(b-1)$ if $b \ge 2$, otherwise it is $\phi(0,0) = 1$.
$f(0,n,b)$ is $2^{b-1}$ if $b \ge 2$, otherwise it is $2^{n-1}$
$f(1,0,b)$ is again $b-1$ if $b \ge 1$, $0$ if $b = 0$
$f(1,1,b)$ is $2^{b-1} (b-1)$ if $b \ge 2$ otherwise it is $1$
$f(1,n,b) > Tower_n (b-1) > 2\uparrow\uparrow n$ for $b \ge 2$
$f(2,n,b) > 2\uparrow\uparrow\uparrow n$ for $b \ge 2$
$f(m,n,b) > 2 \uparrow^{m+1} n$ for $b \ge 2$
$f(\omega,0,b) = b-1$ for $b \ge 2$
$f(\omega,1,b) = f(b-1,b-1,b-1) \ge 2 \uparrow^{b}(b-1)$ for $b \ge 2$
$f(\omega,2,b) = f(f(\omega,1,b),f(\omega,1,b),f(\omega,1,b)) \ge 2 \uparrow^{2 \uparrow^b (b-1)}(2 \uparrow^b (b-1))$
$f(\omega,n,b)$ is the function $f(x,x,x)$ applied $n$ times starting from $b-1$, which is greater than $F_{\omega+1}(n)$ where $F$ is the fast-growing hierarchy.
$F(\omega+1,n,b)$ is the function $f(\omega,x,x)$ applied $n$ times starting from $b-1$, which is greater than $F_{\omega+2}(n)$.
Each time we add $1$ to $a$, we go to a function which iterates the previous one $n$ times; each time we increase a to a limit ordinal, we diagonalize over previous functions. So the task becomes defining very large countable ordinals.