We define a module to be an abelian group $M$ together with a ring action $R \times M \to M$ that satisfies certain properties. Q: Why do we require that $M$ is abelian?
I know that modules generalize vector spaces and abelian groups and, in a sense, representations. But why not take it further and relax the underlying group? I'm curious about whether this definition simply produces a more manageable collection of objects, et cetera. On a related note, what can be said when $M$ is not abelian?
Let $R$ be a ring with $1$. If $M$ is a group, written multiplicatively, equipped with an $R$-action, then, for any $x,y\in M$, $(xy)^2 = (1+1)\cdot (xy) = [(1+1)\cdot x][(1+1)\cdot y] = x^2 y^2$. So $yx=xy$, and $M$ is abelian.
If $R$ doesn't have a $1$, then we conclude only that $rM$ is abelian for all $r\in R$. In this case, we might be able to define noncommutative modules, but they are likely to be very awkward. For example, let $R=\{0,\epsilon\}$ with $\epsilon+\epsilon=\epsilon^2=0$, which is the simplest non-unital ring. Then a noncommutative $R$-module can be described by a group $G$, a normal subgroup $N\lhd G$, and an abelian subgroup $A \leq N$ isomorphic to $G/N$ (the quotient $G\to G/N$ is the multiplication map $\epsilon\cdot: G\to \epsilon G$). Understanding the ways this can happen is very subtle, probably intractable, and certainly only tangentially related to the study of $R$.
Another perspective: a module is just a quotient of a free module. So if we want noncommutative modules, then we want to consider, for example, $R * R$, the amalgamated product, to be a module over $R$. But $r(R*R)=(rR)*(rR)$ is never abelian unless $rR=0$, so this is only an $R$-module when $R$ has trivial multiplication.
In short, addition should always be commutative. If I really wanted to think of a non-abelian group as a module over something, I would probably work over a semigroup $S$, and define an $S$-module to be a group $G$ and a semigroup homomorphism $S\to\operatorname{End}(G)$ (one way to define an $R$-module is an abelian group $M$ with a homomorphism of rings $R\to \operatorname{End}(M)$).