So the difference quotient is defined as:
$$\lim \limits_{h \to 0} \frac{f(x+h)-f(x)}{h}$$
So if we take a function such as $f(x)=x^2$ and go through the simplification, we get
$$\lim \limits_{h \to 0} 2x+h $$
We say $h$ is zero, and that makes sense because it becomes negligible. But here's what I don't understand: $\delta$-$\epsilon$ says (in casual terms) we can make $h$ as close as we want to zero and $2x+h$ will be sufficiently close to $2x$. But isn't one of the constraints of delta epsilon that $|\delta - c| > 0$? So how can we say $h$ is exactly zero if this constraint must be met? In other words, we always say the value of the limit at the point of interest does not necessarily equal the value of the function - but here it seems like we're saying that they are by making $h$ exactly zero, not just sufficiently close. Why can we do this?
The difference quotient $\dfrac{f(x+h) - f(x)} h$ is of course undefined when $h=0$. You have \begin{align} \frac{f(x+h)-f(x)} h & = 2x+h & & \text{when } h\ne 0 \\[10pt] \text{and } 2x+h & = 2x & & \text{when }h=0. \end{align} LATER NOTE: In NO edition of this answer has there every been a piecewise definition of any function. That is NOT what appears above.
If the value of $f'(x)$ is $2x$, then you want to prove that $$ \left| \frac{f(x+h) - f(x)} h - 2x \right| $$ can be made less than $\varepsilon$ by making $|h|$ less than $\delta$, but not equal to $0$.
That's the same as saying $$ |(2x+h) - 2x| $$ can be made less than $\varepsilon$ by making $h$ small enough, but not equal to $0$.
And that's the same as saying $|h|$ can be made less than $\varepsilon$ by making $|h|$ less than $\delta$ but not $0$.
Why, then, is it permissible to evaluate the limit by making $h=0$?
The answer is that it's easy to see that $|h|$ can be made small by making $|h|$ small. In other words, the limit as $h$ approaches $0$ of $h$ is simply the value that $h$ has when $h=0$.
In somewhat conventional language, $2x+h$ is a continuous function of $h$, so its limit as $h\to0$ is the same as its value when $h=0$.