In the books that I have seen, given a smooth map $\phi: M \rightarrow N$ where $N$ and $M$ are manifolds, the differential at a point $x$ is defined as $d \phi_x: T_x M \rightarrow T_x N$. Why is it the case that the differential is defined as a map of the tangent spaces?
Is it possible to show that this is true taking, for example, the definition of the tangent space of $M$ at $x$ to be $(dF_x)^{-1}(0)$ if $M=F^{-1}(0)$?
For example, the problem I am working on treats $SO(n, \mathbb{R})$ as a manifold of $M(n, \mathbb{R})$. Given $w_1, \ldots w_n \in SO(n, \mathbb{R})$ I define the function
\begin{align} \varphi: SO(n, \mathbb{R}) &\rightarrow SO(n, \mathbb{R})\\ g & \mapsto gw_1g^{-1}w_1^{-1} \ldots g w_n g^{-1}w_n^{-1} \end{align}
I need to show that $d \varphi_I$ (where $I$ is the identity matrix) is a map from $SO(n, \mathbb{R})$ to itself where $SO(n, \mathbb{R})$ is the set of anti-symmetric matrices and is the tangent space of $SO(n, \mathbb{R})$ at $I$.
Thanks in advance.
Let $F(A) =\ ^tAA - I$. $F \colon \mathbb{R}^{n^2} \to \text{Sim}(n)$, indeed $\ ^t(\ ^tAA-I) = \ ^tAA - I$. (you have probably encountered $F$ to see that $SO(n)$ is a smooth manifold...)
Let's calculate $D_AF(H)$:
$$\lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|F(A + H) - F(A) - D_AF(H)\|}{\|H\|} = \lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|\ ^t(A+H)(A+H) - I -\ ^tAA + I -D_AF(H) \|}{\|H\|} = \lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|\ ^tAA +\ ^tAH +\ ^tHA +\ ^tHH - I -\ ^tAA + I - D_AF(H)\|}{\|H\|} = \lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|\ ^tAH +\ ^tHA +\ ^tHH - D_AF(H)\|}{\|H\|}$$
Let $D_AF(H) = \ ^tAH +\ ^tHA$, then $$\lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|\ ^tHH\|}{\|H\|} \le \lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|\ ^tHH\|}{\|H\|} \le \lim_{\|H\| \to 0} \frac{\|H\|^2}{\|H\|} \to 0.$$
Now let $A = I$ and the calculation over this constant path yields $0 = D_IF(H) = \ ^tH + H$.
I hope this helps!
EDIT: why this applies to your situation? You have $\varphi$ defined as in the question. $D_x\varphi \colon T_xSO(n) \to T_{\varphi(x)}SO(n)$. If $x = I$, then $\varphi(x) = \varphi(I) = I$ and $T_ISO(n) = T_{\varphi(I)}SO(n) = so(n)$, as proved above.