I got into a little confusion, hopefully someone can clear it up for me. So I'm solving $x^2-8x=5$ right, and here are my steps:
$$1: x^2-8x=5$$ $$2: x^2-8x+16=21$$ $$3: (x-4)^2=21$$ $$4: x-4=\pm\sqrt{21}$$ $$x=\pm\sqrt{21} +4$$
So I have a question, why is it plus or minus? I thought the square root is usually positive?
Every positive number $n$ has two square roots: $\sqrt{n}$ and $-\sqrt{n}$. Both $4 + \sqrt{21}$ and $4 - \sqrt{21}$ are solutions to this equation. You can try plugging them in with your calculator to verify.
What you're thinking of here is that $\sqrt{n}$ refers only to the positive square root. If you want the other square root, you must specify $-\sqrt{n}$. This way, we never need to be confused when we see $\sqrt{n}$, even though $n$ has two roots.
As for your other question, it is not true that $\sqrt{x} + y = \sqrt{x + y}$, which is what you're observing here.