Fix $A\in M_n(\mathbb{C})$ and let $f : M_{nm}(\mathbb{C}) \to \mathbb{R}$ be defined as $f(S) = \tfrac{1}{2}\|A - S\,S^\mathsf{T}\|_\mathsf{F}^2$ (yes I do mean the transpose and not the adjoint). I want to compute $\frac{\partial f}{\partial S}$. From the Matrix Cookbook 2.8.1 (link) we could use the chain rule $$\frac{\partial f}{\partial S_{ij}} = -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})\frac{\partial S S^\mathsf{T}}{\partial S_{ij}}\right].$$
Working with this we can see $$\frac{\partial S S^\mathsf{T}_{kl}}{\partial S_{ij}} = \begin{cases}2 s_{ij} & \text{if } k=l=i\\s_{lj} & \text{if }k=i\neq j\\s_{kj} & \text{if }j=i\neq k\\ 0 & \text{otherwise}\end{cases}$$
so $$\frac{\partial S S^\mathsf{T}}{\partial S_{ij}} = S_je_i^\mathsf{T} + e_iS_j^\mathsf{T}$$ where $S_j$ is the $j$-th column of $S$. It follows that $$\frac{\partial f}{\partial S_{ij}} = -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})(S_je_i^\mathsf{T} + e_iS_j^\mathsf{T})\right].$$
How can I simplify this further? Ideally I would have a closed form expression for $f'(S)$ without having to index with coordinates.
To begin, write $$ -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})(S_je_i^\mathsf{T} + e_iS_j^\mathsf{T})\right] = -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})S_je_i^\mathsf{T}\right] -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})e_iS_j^\mathsf{T})\right] $$ Now, note that $$ -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})S_je_i^\mathsf{T}\right] = -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[e_i^\mathsf{T}(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T}S_j\right] \\ = -e_i^\mathsf{T}(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})S_j \\ = -e_i^\mathsf{T}(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})(S e_j) \\ = -[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})S]_{i,j} $$ Similarly, $$ -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})e_iS_j^\mathsf{T}\right] = -[S^T(A^T - SS^T)]_{j,i} = -[(A - SS^T)S]_{i,j} $$ All together, we have $$ \frac{\partial f}{\partial S_{i,j}} = -\mathsf{tr}\,\left[(A^\mathsf{T} - SS^\mathsf{T})(S_je_i^\mathsf{T} + e_iS_j^\mathsf{T})\right] = -[(A + A^T - 2SS^T)S]_{i,j} $$ Your matrix form for $f'(S)$ depends which convention you follow, so I'll leave the rest to you.