Why is it that if $Ax=\lambda x$ and $A^*x=\mu x$ then $\lambda = \overline{\mu}$?
I tried to say $(Ax,x)=(\lambda x,x)=\lambda(x,x)$ and $(Ax,x)=(x,A^*x)=(x,\mu x)=\overline{\mu}(x,x)$. This, I think, shows why the implication holds. But I don't understand why $(x,\mu x)=\overline{\mu}(x,x)$, since I think $(\lambda x,x) = \lambda(x,x)$. I might be completely wrong but I dont understand this. Especially because the "$(\,,)$" notation is just the inner product? So I like to think more in this notation
$$(Ax,x)=(Ax)^Tx=(\lambda x)^Tx=\lambda x^Tx$$
But wouldn't it be $^*$ in this case, not $^T$? I don't understand though, with this notation, where $(Ax,x)=(x,A^*x)$ comes from since
$$(Ax,x)=(Ax)^Tx=x^TA^Tx=(x,A^Tx)=x^TA^*x=x^T\mu x=\mu x^Tx$$
So here $\mu=\lambda$? But I learned $^*$ is pretty much just $^T$ but with the conjugate taken on every entry.
Im obviously missing something, can someone please explain this how the first connects to the second notation? Whenever I read the general inner product I translate it back to just matrix multiplication and stuff, so when I don't understand that one I'm just using the rules like a parrot without any understanding of what's happening.
Please help me see where things are going wrong. Any help better formulating this question is also apreciated.
If you are using complex vectors and matrices, you should be using "conjugate transpose" $*$ throughout, and never the usual transpose. So the inner product is $\langle v, w \rangle := v^* w$. (You could also define it as $\langle v, w\rangle := w^* v$ instead, it does not make too much of a difference. Just pick one and stick to it.)
In terms of the inner product, note that we have, in general, $\langle cv, w \rangle = \bar{c} \langle v, w \rangle$ and $\langle v, cw \rangle = c \langle v, w \rangle$. This is called "sesquilinearity", which is part of the definition of an inner product.
For your proof:
In terms of vectors and matrices, we have $$x^* A x = x^* (Ax) = x^* (\lambda x) = \lambda x^* x$$ and $$x^* A x = (A^* x)^* x = (\mu x)^* x = \bar{\mu} x^* x.$$
You can also rewrite this entirely using inner products and applying the sesquilinearity property.