according to Rotman's text "Homological Algebra", he defines a projective cover as follows,

Now I want to show that if an epimorphism $\epsilon$ from $P$ to $M$ where $P$ is projective, is a projective cover of $M$, then $\text{ker}(\epsilon)$ is superfluous.
I know to show this, assume that $\text{ker}(\epsilon) + N = P$ where $N \subseteq P$ a submodule, then I need to show that $N = P$ but I don't know how to proceed next using the def of projective cover.
I know I need to choose some projective module $Q$ to fit in the diagram and use it.
Initially, I want to choose $Q = N$ but then I need $N$ to be projective and this is ture if I know $N$ is a summand of $P$. Thank you!!
The result is simply not true.
For instance consider $\mathbb{Z\to Z/2}$ the canonical projection. Let $P$ be a projective $\mathbb Z$-module. Then it is free (projective $\mathbb Z$-modules are always free), so it's of the form $\mathbb Z^{(I)}$ for some $I$, and so any epic $\psi: P\to \mathbb Z/2$ is of the form $\bigoplus_I f_i$ where $f_i : \mathbb Z \to \mathbb Z/2$, where at least one of the $f_i$ is nonzero (and if it's nonzero, then it's the usual projection).
Therefore there is an epic lift $P\to \mathbb Z$.
However, the kernel is clearly not superfluous, as $2\mathbb Z + 3\mathbb Z = \mathbb Z$.
The kernel will be superfluous if and only if every lift is epic, which need not be the case, as $\mathbb Z\overset{3}\to \mathbb Z\to \mathbb Z/2$ shows.
For the claim where you assume all lifts are epic, an easy solution consists in picking a projective module $Q$ together with an epimorphism $f:Q\to N$. It then suffices to check that $\psi := \epsilon\circ f$ is an epimorphism (check this ! this is where you use $N+\ker(\epsilon) = P$), so that $\varphi = f$ is a lift, and by assumption it must be an epimorphism : $P=N$ (since the image of $f$ is contained in $N$ by definition)