Let $F(S)$ be the free group generated by the set $S$ with $|S|=n$. I need to show that there is no generating set $T$ of $F(S)$ with $|T|<n$.
So far I noticed that if $|T|$ generated $F(S)$, then we could use a surjective map $\phi:S\to T$. Due to the universal property, this extends to a homomorphism $\phi:F(S)\to F(S)$ with nontrivial kernel. Then $F(S)=\langle \phi(S)\mid\ker \phi\rangle$.
When showing the existence of free groups, one gets that $F(S)=\langle S\mid\_ \ \rangle$. But I don't know how to show that this gives a contradiction.
At the risk of being accused of completely ignoring your approach, here is a solution that comes directly from the definition of a free group. In one of your comments, you said you were looking for a solution that comes directly from the definition. But even so, this is essentially the same solution as J.-E. Pin's, and as the solution suggested by by deyore in comments.
According to the definition of $F(S)$, for any group $G$, any map $S \to G$ extends uniquely to a homomorphism $F(S) \to G$. So there is a bijection between the set of maps $S \to G$ and the set of homomorphisms $F(S) \to G$.
So let $G$ be the cyclic group of order $2$. Then the number of maps from $S$ to $G$ is $2^{|S|}$. On the other hand, if $F(S)$ is generated by $T$, then any homomorphism from $F(S)$ to $G$ is uniquely determined by the images of the elements in $T$, and there are at most $2^{|T|}$ possible images, so $2^{|T|} \le 2^{|S|}$ and hence (since $S$ is finite), $|T| \le |S|$.