Consider the gambler's ruin problem. Suppose there are two gamblers $A$ and $B$ and each time, they bet $\$ 1$. If $A$ starts with $\$ i$, calculate the probability that $A$ wins the game (by getting all $N$ dollars). Assume that the probability of winning (resp. losing) a single bet (in any round) is $p$ (resp. $1-p$).
The usual solution defines $P_i = P(A \text{ wins } | A \text{ starts at } \$ \ i)$ and solves for $P_i = p P_{i+1} + q P_{i-1}$ with initial conditions $P_0 = 0, P_N = 1$.
I am curious why we assume $P_i = P(A \text{ wins } | A \text{ starts at } \$ \ i)$ and not $P_i = P(A \text{ wins}, A \text{ starts at } \$ \ i)$. To do this, let's assume $Q_i = P(A \text{ wins}, A \text{ starts at } \$ \ i)$ and everything else remains as above.
Then \begin{align*} Q_i &= P(A \text{ wins}, A \text{ starts at } i) \\ &= P(A \text{ wins}, A \text{ starts at } i, A \text{ wins current round})+ P(A \text{ wins}, A \text{ starts at } i, A \text{ loses current round}) \\ &= Q_{i+1} + Q_{i-1} \end{align*}
The initial conditions are $Q_0 = 0, Q_N = 1$. But this certainly does not give a similar solution. Where did I go wrong in constructing the recurrence relation?
The notation P(A wins|A starts at \$i), abbreviating as $P(A|i)$, means $$ P(A|i)={P(A,i)\over P(i)} $$ It is the probability of A winning the game given the probability of A having i dollars. $P(A,i)$ is the joint probability of player A having $i$ dollars and winning the game. Since we are generally not interested in how many dollars the players have, but whether they will win the game given they start at a particular point, $P(A|i)$ is the correct notation here.
You have not supplied any details of your calculation, but if you state that you are using $Q(A,i)$ then you must also supply the probability of the player having that amount of money at the start of the game.
No, the initial conditions in your system must contain whether the person has the money or not. You have to supply the probability of them having $N$ dollars as well as the probability of them winning if they have $N$ dollars. That's why your system is not appropriate.