Suppose we have a set of ordinals such that their supremum is a cardinal (not in the original set).
$\sup\{\alpha\}=\kappa$
I'm interested in the supremum of the cardinalities of those ordinals: $\sup\{|\alpha|\}$. I've seen many proofs that seem to assume that $\sup\{|\alpha|\}=\kappa$ also. I can see how this would be the case if the set $\{\alpha\}$ contained an infinite subset of cardinals whose supremum was also $\kappa$, but I can think of a simple counterexample that would seem to indicate that's not always the case.
Take our set to be $\{\alpha\mid\omega\le\alpha\lt\omega_1\}$. The supremum of this set is clearly $\omega_1$ (with cardinality $\aleph_1$ if you prefer). But each ordinal $\alpha$ is countably infinite, so $\forall\alpha,|\alpha|=\omega$ (or $\aleph_0$ if you insist). But then $$\sup\{|\alpha|\}=\sup\{\omega\}=\omega\ne\omega_1=\sup\{\alpha\}.$$
What am I missing?
Motivation: I'm trying to show that if $\kappa$ is an infinite cardinal, these definitions for cofinality are equivalent:
$$cof(\kappa)=\inf\{\beta\mid\{\alpha_\xi\}_{\xi\lt\beta}\text{ is cofinal in }\kappa\}\equiv\inf\{\delta\mid\sum_{\xi<\delta}\kappa_\xi=\kappa\}.$$
To establish the RHS, (after taking $\{\kappa_\xi\}=\{|\alpha_\xi|\}$) it's easy to show the summation is bounded above by $\kappa$. To show that it is also bounded below by $\kappa$, an example proof I found claims that since each $$\kappa_\xi\le\sum_{\xi<\delta}\kappa_\xi$$ then the summation, as an upper bound of all of the $\kappa_\xi$'s, must be larger than the smallest upper bound (supremum) of the $\kappa_\xi$'s, so $$\kappa\le\sup\{\alpha_\xi\}=\sup\{|\alpha_\xi|\}=\sup\{\kappa_\xi\}\le\sum_{\xi<\delta}\kappa_\xi$$ but I'm not so sure about the first equality. Any tips would be appreciated.
I'll first make a comment about the concern in the title of the question, and it seems to break down into successor and limit cases.
The above dichotomy also holds whenever $\{ \alpha_\xi \}_{\xi < \nu}$ is an arbitrary family of ordinals cofinal in $\kappa$.
Of course, it is relatively easy to show that successor cardinals are regular: If $\delta < \kappa = \lambda^+$ and $\{ \alpha_\xi \}_{\xi < \delta}$ is an (increasing) sequence of ordinals $< \kappa$, then let $\beta = \sup_{\xi < \delta} \alpha_\xi = \bigcup_{\xi < \delta} \alpha_\xi$. Note that $$| \beta | = \left| \bigcup_{\xi < \delta} \alpha_\xi \right| \leq \sum_{\xi < \delta} | \alpha_\xi | \leq \sum_{\xi < \delta} \lambda = | \delta | \cdot \lambda = \lambda < \kappa.$$ Thus $\{ \alpha_\xi \}_{\xi < \delta}$ is not cofinal in $\kappa$. Note that this also contains the idea for proving the summation characterisation of cofinality in this case: if $\{ \kappa_\xi \}_{\xi < \delta}$ is a family of cardinals $< \kappa = \lambda^+$, then $\sum_{\xi < \delta} \kappa_\xi \leq \sum_{\xi < \delta} \lambda = | \delta | \cdot \lambda = \max \{ |\delta| , \lambda \}$, so if this sum equals $\kappa = \lambda^+$, it must be that $| \delta | = \kappa$.)
For a limit cardinal $\kappa$, letting $\mu = \mathrm{cof} ( \kappa )$, note that there is an (increasing) sequence $\{ \kappa_\xi \}_{\xi < \mu}$ of cardinals $< \kappa$ which is cofinal in $\kappa$. It is relatively easy to show that $\sum_{\xi < \mu} \kappa_\xi = \kappa$.
But suppose $\delta < \mu$ and $\{ \kappa_\xi \}_{\xi < \delta}$ is any sequence of cardinals $< \kappa$. Then $\{ \kappa_\xi \}_{\xi < \delta}$ is not cofinal in $\kappa$, and so there is a cardinal $\nu < \kappa$ such that $\kappa_\xi \leq \nu$ for all $\xi < \delta$. Then $$\sum_{\xi < \delta} \kappa_\xi \leq \sum_{\xi < \delta} \nu = | \delta | \cdot \nu = \max \{ | \delta | , \nu \}.$$ As $\nu , | \delta | < \kappa$, we have that $\sum_{\xi < \delta} \kappa_\xi < \kappa$.