Let $\mathbb{Z} * \mathbb{Z} = \langle a,b \rangle$ and $$N = \left\{w a b a^{-1} b^{-1}w^{-1}: w\in \mathbb{Z} * \mathbb{Z} \right\}$$ the smallest normal subgroup that contains $\left\{ a b a^{-1} b^{-1}\right\}$. I want to prove that $\langle a,b \rangle / N$ is a abelian group.
Let $w,\tilde{w} \in \mathbb{Z} * \mathbb{Z}$, then i have to show that $w\tilde{w} w^{-1}\tilde{w}^{-1} \in N$. The words on $\langle a,b \rangle$ have two possible forms $$ a^{\epsilon_1} b^{\epsilon_2}\cdots a^{\epsilon_{n-1}} b^{\epsilon_{n}}\quad \text{or } \quad b^{\epsilon_1} a^{\epsilon_2}\cdots b^{\epsilon_{n-1}} a^{\epsilon_{n}} $$
where $\epsilon_{i}\in \mathbb{Z}$. I try to make an induction on length of words, but some cases are very complicated for analyzing, I really feel that there is another way to prove this. ( I know this group is isomorphic to an abelian group, but I don't want to use that because I want to learn to understand the structure of free groups.)
The set $N$ is not a subgroup at all, let alone a normal subgroup. The smallest normal subgroup of $\mathbb{Z}*\mathbb{Z}$ that contains $aba^{-1}b^{-1}$ is the subgroup generated by $N$; more generally, the least normal subgroup containing the set $S$ is the collection of all finite products of conjugates of elements of $S$ and their inverses.
To see that your set $N$ is not a subgroup, note that you cannot express the identity in the form $w(aba^{-1}b^{-1})w^{-1}$. Because if you could, then you would have $aba^{-1}b^{-1} = w^{-1}(e)w = e$, which is false. So $N$ does not contain the identity.
(It is also not closed under products, as $(aba^{-1}b^{-1})^2$ is no a conjugate of $aba^{-1}b^{-1}$, nor is it closed under inverses, since $(aba^{-1}b^{-1})^{-1} = bab^{-1}a^{-1}$ is also not a conjugate of $aba^{-1}b^{-1}$, though these are a bit harder to establish.)
So let $M$ be the smallest normal subgroup that contains $aba^{-1}b^{-1}$, that is, $M=\langle N\rangle$. Then $G/M$ is generated by $Ma$ and $Mb$. To show that a group generated by a set $S$ is abelian it suffices to show that the elements of $S$ commute with each other. Here, $Ma$ clearly commutes with itself, as does $Mb$. To show that $Ma$ commutes with $Mb$, note that $(ab)(ba)^{-1} = aba^{-1}b^{-1}\in M$, so $$ (Ma)(Mb) = M(ab) = M(ba) = (Mb)(Ma).$$ Therefore, $G/M$ is indeed abelian.