Let $D$ be an $(n \times n)$ matrix. Let $A,B,C$ be $(q \times n)$ matrices with $q<n$. Furthermore, assume $A'B=B'C=A'C=\mathbb{0}$ where $\mathbb{0}$ is the $(q \times q)$ matrix of zeros, where ' represents the matrix transpose.
Can the below be expressed in the form $FDF'$ for some matrix $F$ of size $(q \times n)$?
$$ADA'+BDB'+CDC'$$
How would one find such an $F$?
Let $M = A D A' + B D B' + C D C'$ be a $q \times q$ matrix.
Let $U \Sigma V = A$ be the (slim) singular value decomposition of A, where $\Sigma (r \times r) $ is diagonal and full rank ($r \leq q)$ and $U (q \times r), V (r \times n)$ are orthogonal matrices.
Then we can do:
$$\begin{matrix} A D A' + B D B' + C D C' = M \\ A' A D A' + A' B D B' + A' C D C' = A' M & \text{premultiply by A'}\\ A' A D A' = A' M & \text{since A'B = A'C = 0} \\ A' A D A' A = A' M A & \text{post multiply both sides by A} \\ V' \Sigma^2 V D V' \Sigma^2 V = V' \Sigma U' M U \Sigma V & \text{substitute A's SVD} \\ \Sigma V D V' \Sigma = U' M U & \text{cancel what we can} \\ A D A' = UU' M UU' & \text{premultiply by U, postmultiply by U'} \\ \end{matrix}$$
This is almost in the form you want, but this is as far as we can go if we don't know the rank of A, since $UU' \neq I$ if $r < q$.
Now, big assumption time. Let's assume $r = q$. This requires that A has rank q. Then we can do $A D A' = UU' M UU' = M$, and then we just have $F = A$. But then if $A$ is full rank then $B, C$ must be $0$, since $(AA')^{-1}(AA')B = B$ and $(AA')^{-1}A (A'B) = 0$ (likewise for C), and matrix multiplication is associative. So the full rank case isn't particularly useful in practice.