So in Weibel, he states
Warning: In an unbounded spectral sequence, we will tacitly assume that $B^{\infty}$, $Z^{\infty}$, and $E^{\infty}$ exist! The reader who is willing to only work in the category of modules may ignore this difficulty. The queasy reader should assume that the abelian category A satisfies axioms {AB4) and (AB4*).
But, I don't understand the requirement of AB4* at all. I know AB3 and AB3* are needed for sure for the limits and colimits and I believe that with AB5, we can get that they are all subobjects with the correct containment relations. Then, why does Weibel insist on AB4*?
$\require{AMScd}\newcommand{\ab}{{\mathsf{AB4}^\ast}}\newcommand{\abb}{{\mathsf{AB5}}}$There is some subtlety here, in large part due to your comment from four years ago about unions of subobjects. We can always talk about unions of subobjects, assuming cocompleteness, but they are in general quotients of the colimits and not necessarily equal to them. They lack the same universal property of a colimit however they crucially still have the universal property of a union i.e. largest subobject containing the other subobjects. For convenience's sake $\ab$ really is necessary for many essential first properties, to answer your original question. $\ab$ is the axiom that products of epimorphisms are epimorphisms, and $\abb$ is the axiom that filtered colimits are exact (equivalently, the colimit of a monomorphism of filtered diagrams is a monomorphism of the filtered colimits). Actually, it is perhaps the case we never really need the full strength of $\abb$ and rather only require all unions to equal the relevant colimits; I don't know if that's equivalent to $\abb$ or not. Being very generous, it may be the case Weibel was right all along and only $\mathsf{AB4}$ is needed in the stead of $\abb$ but I am not sure if it proves unions = colimits. Does anyone know about that?
I claim the following:
In the instance that $E,E'$ start on different pages and/or $f$ is not an isomorphism on the initial page, some caution is required. We need to pass to a higher order page, but Weibel defines $E^\infty$ in terms of the starting page only. Can it be equivalently defined by a higher page? Yes, but you need to be careful. In the original version of this post I thought it required axiom $\ab$ but with thanks to Thorgott I now realise that that is not required. It boils down to the canonical map $\left(\bigcap_{s\ge r}Z^s\right)/B^r\to\bigcap_{s\ge r}(Z^s/B^r)$ being an isomorphism. I originally proved this by finding lifts one at a time, one for each $Z^s/B^r$, and forming a limiting element (an argument which did need $\ab$) but we can make do without that. It's clearly a monomorphism, so we need to show it is an epimorphism.
Simply take $x\in_m\bigcap_{s\ge r}Z^s/B^r$, include it into $E^a/B^r$; there is some member class $y\in_m E^a$ which projects to $x$. In particular, the projection of $y$ fits into all $Z^s/B^r$ which implies $y$ lives in the union $Z^s+B^r=Z^s$ for all $s$; thus $y$ factors through the subobject intersection $\bigcap_{s\ge r}Z^s$ so $x$ is in the image of $\left(\bigcap_{s\ge r}Z^s\right)/B^r\to\bigcap_{s\ge r}Z^s/B^r$. If one actually checked the details of this argument you'd realise it's essential that we're working with subobjects here. To expect limits to commute with quotients like this in general I expect one needs $\ab$ or something like it.
Why do I care about this map? Well, it allows you to reduce to the case where both sequences start on the same page and $f$ is an isomorphism of the starting pages. If $E^{r\ge a}$ is a spectral sequencec then for fixed $r_0\ge a$ there is of course a spectral subsequence $E_0:=E^{r\ge r_0}$ with all the same pages and differentials in large degree... but to say their infinity pages are the same as per Weibel's construction, realising $Z^r(E_0)\cong Z^r(E)/B^{r_0}$ and $B^r(E_0)\cong B^r(E)/B^{r_0}$ as subobjects of $E_0^{r_0}$ (the starting page!) you will need $\left(\bigcap_{r\ge r_0}Z^r\right)/B^{r_0}\overset{\cong}{\to}\bigcap_{r\ge r_0}(Z^r/B^{r_0})$.
The reason for the fuss about $\abb$ is explained well here. We can get around this issue if we have some kind of ambient maps $H\to H'\to H$ compatible with $E^\infty\cong(E')^\infty\cong E^\infty$. In fact, the way we prove $f^\infty$ is an isomorphism in the mapping theorem uses the fact there is an ambient map $E^a\cong(E')^a$ to avoid the otherwise thorny issue of whether or not $f$ induces an isomorphism $B^\infty\to(B')^\infty$.
Here, $A,A'$ would be the colimits $\varinjlim_t F_tH/F_sH$ and $C,C'$ would be the quotients, the images in $H,H'$, $\bigcup_t F_tH/F_sH\cong H/F_sH$ by exhaustivity. If $\abb$ holds then $A=C,A'=C'$ with no need to worry. Maybe $\mathsf{AB4}$ also gives $A=C$, it's plausible, but I don't see it at the moment.