My way of thinking:
- when it comes down to a regular sets, the right notion of "sameness" of any two elements is strict, regular equality;
- for any two objects belonging to the same category - isomorphism, which is less strict version of equality (probably, it makes sense to think of "isomorphism" as "partial equality");
- then there are functors, generating yet another $[A, B]$ functors category; by the #2, fine notion of "sameness" for them is (natural) isomorphism;
- however, when it comes down to "sameness" of somewhat categories, which also build separate category $CAT$, somewhy isomorphism considered to be "unreasonably strict". As such, $G \circ F = 1_A$ and $F \circ G = 1_B$ becomes $G \circ F \cong 1_A$ and $F \circ G \cong 1_B$.
QUESTION: Why #2 notion isn't good enough to reason about equivalence of categories? Are categories special? As far as I understand, $CAT$ allows reuse #2 "sameness" definition with respect to any two categories...
Part of the importance of equivalence of categories has to do with isomorphism of the objects in said categories.
Consider the category of all finite sets $\mathsf{FinSet}$ (and mappings between those). That's a huge category, since it's collection of objects is a proper class. However in a sense it should not be so huge, since essentially there only as many finite sets as they are are natural numbers.
Consider another category $\mathcal A$, which is only the finite sets of the form $\{1,\dots, n\}$. Now for every $n\in \mathbb N$, $\mathcal A$ has one set-representative of that size while $\mathsf{FinSet}$ has many, but in $\mathsf{FinSet}$ all these sets of the same size are isomorphic and we should not treat isomorphic sets as being different.
Hence it doesn't make any real difference if we use $\mathsf{FinSet}$ or $\mathcal{A}$ to deal with finite sets. So they ought to be the same. And they are: these categories are equivalent. But they can't be isomorphic: $\mathcal{A}$ has a countable set of objects, but $\mathsf{FinSet}$ a proper class.