I grew up with Portuguese as my first language, both my parents are immigrants without a high school diploma. My dad taught me multiplication over the course of a couple of days at 5 years old but didn't know any mathematics beyond that. He worked construction since the age of 15, my mom never held down a job, dropped out of high school in Portugal to work on a farm. She speaks broken English.
My elementary school was OK, I got all A's from 2nd grade to 5th grade without much effort. There was a kid named Ryan that I would tutor that ending up doing well. 6th grade our elementary school got a new teacher, the class average was a D. I found it impossible to learn from her. Ryan got lucky with a good teacher for 6th grade.
We were sent to an inner city middle school, I was put in standard class's because of a poor performance in 6th grade. He was put in honors class's. 75% of the kids in my class's in the 7th and 8th grade were living in project housing, had a parent in prison, or from a single parent home living on the poverty line. A small group of kids would harass the teachers and disrupt the class room so that 90% of the class was babysitting.
This carried over into high school which was actually worse, a lot of my high school classmates are serving time in prison with a couple for murder convictions. Ryan stayed in honors class's throughout, eventually getting into BU.
I fell so far behind that although I graduated high school on time, I didn't even know how to simplify basic fractions. I didn't know what "x" was in a mathematical context. I just assumed I was bad at math. My Algebra 1 teacher taught us nothing we watched movies all day, same with geometry, I was completely lost in Algebra 2. I would get mostly D's, I failed Chemistry twice, with my second Chemistry teacher saying that I had a strong work ethic. After working dead end jobs and trying my hand at boxing and music in my early 20's I decided to go to community college after a severe boxing injury. Boxing gave me a lot of confidence, I did fine at community college for a year and got into state university. I was soo confidenct that decided to take Calculus without knowing any algebra, geometry, trig, or precalc, or even how to properly manipulate fractions. My advisor told me I was insane, she told me that I would 100% fail if I took Calculus based on my transcripts. From sheer willpower and brute force I managed a B in Calculus teaching myself the absolute basics of algebra, geometry, trig, and pre calc along the way and just rote memorizing everything. I just took Calc and nothing else while working a full time 40 hr job.
My guidance councilor was in complete disbelief. After a talk she recommended that I enroll in the Physics program so I did, she thought I was like the guy from Good Will Hunting. I did ok the first semester but did worse and worse as I went on, I couldn't complete a Physics undergrad without really knowing Algebra or so much of the other high school maths, so I took a year off of school. I bought an Algebra 1 and 2 textbook, a geometry text book, trig textbook, a high school physics book and chemistry. I worked a job 20 hours a week and thoroughly taught myself all those high school math and science subjects over the course of a year to the point were I would search the internet for a Pre-Calc / Geometry / Trig problem that I couldn't solve but couldn't find any. I was able to solve any math problem I could find on the internet that only required up to high school pre-calc.
I re-enrolled in class's at univeristy, I retook Calc 1 with the hardest professor at the university, I took Classical Mechanics with the hardest physics professor at the university, I also took astronomy and a logic course. I got 100 on every test in all my class's and 120 on my Calc final. The average grade in the class for Calc was a 55. I felt like things were finally going to start going my way . . . boy was I wrong.
I discovered that a really poor primary school education and growing up in poverty was only a part of the reason I had done poorly historically in school . . . I also have ADHD. I did great for a couple of semesters and then started doing poorly again . . . This time I was at my wits end . . I couldn't understand why I was doing poorly again but I've pretty much come to a conclusion.
After reading a bit of some great text books in Real Analysis and Topology I've come to the conclusion that school just isn't for me. It's not that I'm stupid or bad at math or whatever it's just that lectures are a complete waste of time for me. My time is 100% best served by reading through well written advanced math texts and learning everything at my own pace from there.
In hindsight, what I should have done when I had finished teaching myself all of middle school and high school mathematics and science extremely thoroughly and rigorously over the course of a year, I should have continued to teach myself all of College Math and College freshman and sophomore Physics from home using quality texts.
After teaching myself all of College math, I could have enrolled back in college and taken all the necessary courses for a BS in mathematics in 2 years after which I likely would have had the opportunity at grad school or at least a good transcript. My transcript now just looks like a hodgepodge of what the heck was going on with you. Now in the second part of my Junior year in the math program and in my late 20's I'm getting annoyed that I don't have a career yet. I'm extremely tempted to take 1 or 2 years off and load up on self teaching math texts, go back and finish with all A's in 1 year, rather than continue doing crappy and finishing in 2 years anyways, getting worse grades and learning less.
Part of me says screw it and take the next 6 to 9 months mastering my Python programming skill set and getting a decent a job so I can finally start a family with my Fiance. Ryan, the guy who I tutored in Elementary school has started a family, makes over 100K working at a big bank as a bank manager.
I just feel so behind . . . part of me regrets not becoming a Plumber out of high school, I'd have bought a house by now and established a family.
Any advice on what to do next?
Thank you for sharing your experience. I believe a lot of people are left feeling inept at math and never realize how ubiquitous the feeling genuinely is. Only to then learn later in life that much of the material is approachable with the right teacher / method of learning.
What you have suffered from is the systemic failures of the American education system. That, and the fact that you had to struggle to sustain your education while having ADHD, is incredibly challenging. I believe many could empathize with your frustrations, most of which I could only imagine carry the sensation that your hardships could have been avoided.
So a couple of notes to (maybe) help you realize you're doing fine:
If you don't feel like you will get much from your education, then leaving to pursue a tech job is valid. But it is incredibly difficult to transition companies when you don't have a competitive degree. Simultaneously, pushing yourself to take classes you don't want to take is never good either.
PS: Depending on where you live, plumbing may or may not be a lucrative industry... I do know of some places where it is, but where I live you would not be able to afford a house on that paycheck alone.
PSS: You should probably stop talking to Ryan. It doesn't seem like a healthy relationship...