Let's say that I prove statement $A$ by showing that the negation of $A$ leads to a contradiction.
My question is this: How does one go from "so there's a contradiction if we don't have $A$" to concluding that "we have $A$"?
That, to me, seems the exact opposite of logical. It sounds like we say "so, I'll have a really big problem if this thing isn't true, so out of convenience, I am just going to act like it's true".
I assume you're familiar and comfortable with proofs that don't use proof-by-contradiction. The recipe for these proofs is:
The recipe for a classical logic proof-by-contradiction is:
The above probably won't make you comfortable with proof-by-contradiction (that takes time and thought; see note below) but it should at least show you the process isn't just assuming something we want to assume.
Note: I spent many nights going to sleep worrying about the irrationality of $\sqrt2$ because the only proof I knew - using contradiction - seemed so weird!