Relations defined by formulas such as " x has the same age as y" , " x comes from the same country as y " " a has the same image under function f as b " are obviously equivalence relations, due to the presence of the expression " same ... as".
Are there many examples of equivalence relations that do not contain this " same ... as" expression and , consequently, that cannot immediately be recognized as equivalence relations?
Are there many examples of equivalence relations that , at first sight, for someone who reads their defining formula for the first time, do not at all look like equivalence relations?
What I am looking for is relations such as
" a is congruent to b ( modulo n) iff n divides a-b"
in which one does not see any " same ... as" .

As other answers point out it is always possible to phrase an equivalence relation as "has the same _ as" -- but sometimes the only natural way to do that is to start with the equivalence relation itself and say "same equivalence class".
An important kind of equivalence relation have definitions of the shape "one thing can be reversibly made into the other by such-and-such kind of transformation":
Let two closed curves in some topological space be related if they are homotopic.
(They have the same homotopy class, but homotopy classes are themselves defined through this relation).
Let two square matrices be related if they are similar.
(Or congruent. Or variants of these where you require that the basis change is in some particular subgroup of $GL_n$).
Let two elements of a group be related if they're conjugates.
Let two sets be related if there exists a bijection between them.
(They have the same cardinality, but cardinality is defined through this relation).
Let two groups be related if they are isomorphic.
(Or really any kind of thing you can speak of isomorphisms between).
Let two polyhedra be related if one can cut one into a finite number of smaller polyhedra and reassemble them to produce the other.
(This is actually the same relation as "the two polyhedra have the same volume and the same Dehn invariant", but that is a somewhat deep result).
Alternatively you can make an equivalence relation by taking the symmetric part of a larger preorder:
Let two formulas of the propositional calculus be related if intuitionistic logic proves them to be equivalent.
(With classical logic this would be the same as "they define the same truth function", but the situation for intuitionistic logic is not as simple).
Let two infinite sequences of natural numbers be related if each of them is a subsequence of the other.
(It feels plausible that one can puzzle out an equivalent characterization with a "has the same _ as" flavor that doesn't feel unnatural, but it's not immediately clear exactly what it would be).
Let two sets of natural numbers be related if each is Turing reducible to the other.
(They have the same Turing degree, but that is defined through this relation).
Let two functions from naturals to naturals be related if each is Big Oh of the other as $n\to\infty$.
(They have the same asymptotic growth rate).
Let two sets be related if each of them admits an injection into the other.
(This is the same as having the same cardinality, by the Cantor-Bernstein theorem. But that is not quite trivial).
Let two groups be related if each of them admits an injective homomorphism into the other.
(This is not the same relation as being isomorphic!)
And here is a completely different approach:
Let two real functions be related if they coincide on an open neighborhood of $0$.
(They have the same germ, but that is defined through this relation).
Choose a free ultrafilter on $\mathbb N$ and let two sequences of real numbers be related if the set of indices where they agree is in the ultrafilter.
(This example produces an ultrapower, which is used in non-standard analysis).
Algebraic quotients are a bit of a corner case. You can define the equivalence relation as "generates the same coset as", but it is usually more natural to think of it as "the difference of the elements is in the chosen kernel".