First let's start with a good old problem:
Consider flipping a fair coin. Let $N_1$ be the number of flips you need to see the first heads (including the last flip of heads). Compute $\Bbb E(N_1)$.
We can do this by noting that $N_1$ is a geometric distribution. But let's do it differently this time. It's clear you have to expend the first flip. What happens then? If the first flip turns out heads (1/2 chance), you're done; if it turns out tails, then you'll need more flips, but the distribution of how many more flips you'll need is just the same as $N_1$. So we have $$\Bbb E(N_1) = \color{red}1 + \frac12\cdot 0 + \frac12\cdot \Bbb E(N_1).$$
A smart observation. But just how to show it is the real expectation in the rigorous sense? Is there anything slicker than explicitly writing out the summation $\Bbb E(N_1) = \sum_{k=0}^\infty k\Bbb P(N_1=k)$ and then decompose each $\Bbb P(N_1=k)$ by the partition formed by "first flip is heads/tails"? For what I have tried, dealing with the explicit summation will not give the first term $\color{red}1$ as a whole, which instead arises only from a complicated summation.
Thanks.
Let $(X_j)_{j \in \mathbb{N}}$ be a sequence of independent identically distributed random variables such that $$\mathbb{P}(X_j = 1) = \mathbb{P}(X_j = -1) = 1/2.$$ We interpret $X_j=1$ as "$j$-th flip is head" and $X_j=-1$ as "$j$-th flip is tails". The random variable
$$N_1 := \inf\{j \in \mathbb{N}; X_j = 1\}$$
is the first time which we observe "head". Clearly,
$$N_1 = \begin{cases} 1, & \text{if} \, \, X_1 = 1, \\ 1+ \inf\{j \geq 1; X_{j+1} = 1\}, &\text{if} \, \, X_1 = -1. \end{cases}$$
If we set $Z_j := X_{j+1}$, then this shows
$$N_1 = \begin{cases} 1, & \text{if} \, \, X_1 = 1, \\ 1+ \inf\{j \geq 1; Z_j = 1\}, & \text{if} \, \, X_1 = -1 \end{cases}$$
and so
$$N_1 = \begin{cases} 1, & \text{if} \, \, X_1 = 1, \\ 1+ \tilde{N}_1, & \text{if} \, \, X_1 = -1 \end{cases} \tag{1}$$
where
$$\tilde{N}_1 := \inf\{j \geq 1; Z_j = 1\}.$$
Since $(X_j)_{j \in \mathbb{N}}$ and $(Z_j)_{j \in \mathbb{N}}$ are equal in distribution, it follows that $N_1 = \tilde{N}_1$ in distribution; in particular, $$\mathbb{E}(N_1) = \mathbb{E}(\tilde{N}_1). \tag{2}$$
Moreover, it follows easily from the independence of the random variables $X_j$, $j \geq 1$, that $X_1$ and $\tilde{N}_1$ are independent. Combining this with $(1)$ we get
$$\begin{align*} \mathbb{E}(N_1) &\stackrel{(1)}{=} \mathbb{E}(1 \cdot 1_{\{X_1=1\}}) + \mathbb{E}((1+\tilde{N}_1) 1_{\{X_1 = -1\}}) \\ &= \mathbb{P}(X_1 = 1) + \mathbb{E}(1+\tilde{N}_1) \mathbb{P}(X_1=-1) \\ &= \frac{1}{2} + \frac{1}{2} (1+\underbrace{\mathbb{E}(\tilde{N}_1)}_{\stackrel{(2)}{=} \mathbb{E}(N_1)}) = 1+\frac{1}{2} \mathbb{E}(N_1). \end{align*}$$