I am a newbie in stats, and after much searching, I found this site: https://demonstrations.wolfram.com/TheBivariateNormalDistribution/
It is great, and I guess it cannot get more basic than that, but I still have questions.
Whenever I increase variance in only one variable, I undoubtedly feel/see that the variance of the other variable decreases, and I know this is not happening, why am I seeing this? Is this just me?
(I found many different plots, but nowhere it's explained exactly how to interpret/see the plot).
This is an unfortunate effect of the color values changing, as a result of the distribution changing. Maybe this representation will help you see the effect more clear:
In the gif I normalized each frame by the maximum value of the distribution and project on each axis. This link has a pretty good description of what's happening, in particular see the Marginal Distribution section.
If you pay close attention to the projection on the $X$ axis while $\sigma_Y$ is increased, the envelope (green contour) keeps the same width, which means that the variance is not being modified.
Code was generated in python, here is MWV: