I am just struggling, because I know chances are that I didn't find a solution to an unsolved problem in under 3 hours, but I can't find what's wrong with this. It's really bugging me.
https://www.scribd.com/document/332017929/Proof-that-a-perfect-cuboid-does-not-exist
Your error is assuming that no solution to $A^2 + B^2 + C^2 = 2D^2$ exists because $D\sqrt{2}$ is irrational.
See, for example, $2 \cdot 29^2 = 28^2 + 27^2 + 13^2$