I am not asking for a proof of linearity of expectation, which is available in multiple posts.
Instead I would like to develop a more robust understanding as to why the calculation of the expectation of the number of $BB$ when pairing up $N$ balls ($W$ and $B,$ such that $W + B = N$) can be performed by considering simply the probability of getting the first pair $BB,$ which is obviously $\frac{B}{B+W}\frac{B-1}{B+W-1}$ times the number of pairs, as in this answer by @lulu, which I am sure it is correct:
This sort of thing is best handled by indicator variables, exploiting the fact that expectation is linear, regardless of any possible dependence between the variables.
$$E=E\left[ \sum X_i\right]=\sum E\left[X_i\right]=\frac {B+W}2\times \frac B{B+W}\times\frac {B-1}{B+W-1}=\boxed {\frac {B(B-1)}{2(B+W-1)}}$$
My intuitive check on it is that each pair of balls is equally likely to be the first one to be chosen, but this is in conflict with the fact that the probability of getting a second $BB$ pair after a first $BB$ will necessarily go down.
Suppose that you have a deck of cards. The probability of the second card being a king is the same as the probability of the first card to be a king, they are completely symmetric. Similarly, the probability of any card being a king is the same and equal. However, once the first card is dealt and opened, the conditional probability given its face value, changes the probability of the second card to be king.
The same here. The indicator $X_i$ looks only on the $i$th experiment. If you don't know anything that happened before, this is exactly the same as $X_1$. You are correct that $X_2\vert X_1$ is different from $X_2$, but as you calculate the unconditional $X_2$, it is the same. The conditional would go up or down based on the result of the first pair, but when computing all options you'll get back to the unconditional distribution.
A stronger intuition can be made using the following idea: for each pairing here is another pairing where all balls are paired the same but pair #1 and pair #i are switched.
A full calculation: $\Pr(X_1=1)=\tfrac{{B \choose 2}}{{n \choose 2}}=\tfrac{B(B-1)}{n(n-1)}$ since you need to choose two black balls to form the first pair. We all agree on that. Now, for $X_2$: $$\Pr(X_2=1)=\tfrac{{B \choose 2}}{{n \choose 2}}\cdot\tfrac{{B-2 \choose 2}}{{n-2 \choose 2}}+\tfrac{{W \choose 2}}{{n \choose 2}}\cdot\tfrac{{B \choose 2}}{{n-2 \choose 2}}+\tfrac{{B \choose 1}{W \choose 1}}{{n \choose 2}}\cdot\tfrac{{B-1 \choose 2}}{{n-2 \choose 2}}=\tfrac{B(B-1)(B-2)(B-3)}{n(n-1)(n-2)(n-3)}+\tfrac{W(W-1)B(B-1)}{n(n-1)(n-2)(n-3)}+2\tfrac{B(B-1)W(B-2)}{n(n-1)(n-2)(n-3)}=\tfrac{B(B-1)}{n(n-1)}\left[\tfrac{(B-2)(B-3)}{(n-2)(n-3)}+\tfrac{W(W-1)}{(n-2)(n-3)}+2\tfrac{W(B-2)}{(n-2)(n-3)} \right] $$ Now note that $(B-2)(B-3)+W(W-1)+2W(B-2)=(B-2)(W+B-3)+W(W-1+B-2)=(B-2)(n-3)+W(n-3)=(n-3)(W+B-2)=(n-2)(n-3)$ so the $[\ldots]=1$ and $\Pr(X_2=1)=\Pr(X_1=1)$