I have proved the following:
Proposition. Let $G$ be a Lie group and let $H$ be an embedded Lie subgroup of $G$. Let $\mathfrak{g}$, respectively $\mathfrak{h}$, be the Lie algebra of $G$, respectively of $H$.
$1.$ If $H$ is normal in $G$, then $\mathfrak{h}$ is an ideal of $\mathfrak{g}$.
Assume that both $G$ and $H$ are connected.
$2.$ If $\mathfrak{h}$ is an ideal of $\mathfrak{g}$, then $H$ is normal in $G$.
In the proof of $2$, I actually established without using the connectedness of $H$ and $G$ that for all $X\in\mathfrak{g}$ and $Y\in\mathfrak{h}$, one has $\exp(X)\exp(Y)\exp(X)^{-1}$, which is only a local information. This is why I suspect that the result does not hold anymore droping the connectedness assumption on either $H$ or $G$.
If $G$ is connected and $H$ is any non-central discrete subgroup of $G$, then we have a counterexample of $2$ when $H$ is disconnected. For an explicit counterexample, let $G=\textrm{GL}(n,\mathbb{C})$ and $H$ be the subgroup generated by a non-central matrix with finite order, e.g. a diagonal matrix with distinct $n$th roots of the unity on the diagonal.
Now I am looping in vain for the following setup:
$G$ disconnected, $H$ connected, $\mathfrak{h}$ is an ideal of $\mathfrak{g}$ and $H$ is not normal in $G$.
I have already investigated a lot of real matrix Lie groups.
Any enlightenment will be greatly appreciated!
The multiplication given by Tsemo is not associative. Here is an example given by my course instructor Prof. Rui Loja Fernandes.
Let $G=\mathbb{R}^3 \ltimes S_{3}$, where $S_{3}$ acts on $\mathbb{R}^3$ by $\sigma(a_{1},a_{2},a_{3})=(a_{\sigma(1)},a_{\sigma(2)},a_{\sigma(3)})$. The connected component $G^{0} $of $G$ containing the identity is $\mathbb{R}^3\times \{I\}$, which is abelian, so the Lie algebra $\mathfrak{g}$ is abelian.
Let $H=\{(x,0,0)\mid x\in \mathbb{R}\} \times \{I\}$ be a conncted Lie subgroup of $G$. The Lie algebra of $H$ is an ideal of $\mathfrak{g}$ since $\mathfrak{g}$ is abelian.
But $H$ is not a normal subgroup of $G$.
$$((0,-1,0),(1,3))\star ((1,0,0),I)\star((0,1,0),(1,3))=((,0,1),I)\notin H$$