In the book "Introduction to Probability" by J. Charles M. Grinstead and Laurie Snell independent events are introduced in the following way: "It often happens that the knowledge that a certain event $E$ has occurred has no effect on the probability that some other event $F$ has occurred, that is, that $P (F |E) =P (F )$". This is then taken as the definition (notice that the setting in which this is done is that of discrete probabilities - if this makes any difference).
But I can't come to terms with this definition, because of the following two reasons:
a) If I have a die then the event of getting a face with one of the numbers $1,2$, if rolling once, seems intuitively to be independent of getting a face with one of the numbers $5,6$. But since these two events are disjoint, but neither is the empty space, by the above definition, they should be dependent, which seems very counter-intuitive.
b) If we chose to somehow "interpret visually" this definition, then that would mean that the sum of the probabilities of all elements in $F$ weighted with the weight $1$ is equal to the sum of all probabilities in $F\cap E$ weighted with $\frac{1}{P(E)}$, because $$\sum_{\omega\in F} \omega=P (F )=P (F |E) =\frac{P(F\cap E)}{P(E)}=\sum_{\omega\in F\cap E} \omega \cdot \frac{1}{P(E)}.$$
Or - if I use the equivalent definition of independence, $P(E\cap F)=P(E) P(F)$ - then the same interpretation of this definition would say that the sum of all elements in $F$ multiplied the sum of all elements in $E$, both weighted with the weight $1$, is again equal to the sum of all probabilities in $F\cap E$ weighted with $\frac{1}{P(E)}$.
But both these interpretations seem artificial - out of this I can't deduce, why this definition is calling $E,F$ "independent". Could you please solve this "paradox" for me ?
If I were to give a definition of independent events, I would say that $E,F$ are independent (which, for me, would mean "they don't have anything to do with each other"), if $E\cap F =\emptyset$. Why would this be a bad definition ?




The point of independent events is not quite what you have in mind. If you know that a roll gave you a 1 or 2, then you know with absolute certainty that the roll was not a 5 or 6. In other words, the probability of it being 5 or 6 dropped from 2/6 to zero. Very much dependence there!
What the term "independent" seeks to capture is the following: You roll two dice. One colored red the other green. The red one turns with a two up. What's the probability that the green one is a six? Here there is no cosmic connection between the two dice, so the intuitive reaction should be: why would the outcome of the red roll affect the green roll? Well, it shouldn't. That's what we call independent. What you describe is "disjoint events". They do play a role in probability, but the word "independent" is reserved for this other useful concept.
To address your last question. At the dawn of probability theory it might not have been an impossible choice to pick another word to describe this. But there already is a word for the situation $E\cap F=\emptyset$! You called such events disjoint yourself (the technically correct term here is mutually exclusive)! If we use two words for the same concept, there will be no end to the resulting confusion. Also this meaning of the word independent does match with the intuition of the practitioners of probability theory. At least after they have seen it used a few times. You will quickly join us!
Adding one more thing. To define independent in this way is just so damn useful. As an example I'm vaguely familiar with I will mention that the functioning of cell phones to some extent depends on our ability to model and analyze various and sundry sources of noise and interference with this kind of independent random variables. Other posters can undoubtedly list even more commonplace applications.