How do I characterize the addition operator, without defining its properties using set theory or the peano axioms, so that someone with special needs could understand and apply it in the context of arithmetic and at most algebra? What is the definition of the addition operator in the simple context of algebra and arithmetic, and how is it understood?
The essence of the Addition operator within arithmetic
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So after some thought, I've come to the conclusion that a definition of addition in the context of only algebra and arithmetic is impossible, as there are multiple uses of addition even in these two disciplines. Addition should therefor be introduced as a man made, hence useful calculation, "way", or "method" of calculation that is very useful in making collections bigger, or lengths longer. What matters when introducing this operation is emphasizing its uses in most situations imaginable.
For sets and such, addition could be characterized by using toys or number blocks, where a collection of toys consists of two separate collections of toys, where the joining represents addition. This is effective in allowing students to learn that addition of toys is equivalent to combining toys

and a number line be used to show addition as the combination of lengths
The number line approach could be introduced after students become familiar with "tactile" addition, to further the idea that addition can be generalized to the concept of length, which is more abstract than quantity.

I will try to write what I understood from Prof. Herbert Gross's teachings and innovation.
The addition operator operates on numbers, so a good knowledge of numbers can give us some insights. If we follow this PowerPoint by Prof. Gross, we have something very interesting to look at
And from this presentation we have
If the students are asked to put two tiles, they will probably do this
And if they are asked to put those two tiles along with three more tiles, they will probably do this
$$ {\Huge \color{blue}{\blacksquare\blacksquare \qquad \blacksquare \blacksquare \blacksquare}} $$
$$ \begin{aligned} {\Large \mathbf{\text{How to apply it in Algebra}}} \end{aligned} $$
Let's say we have $3~\color{red}{apples}$ and $2~\color{blue}{oranges}$ and if I ask you how many fruits do I have, you will answer $5$. So, what you have basically done is that you did the following translation $$ 3~\color{red}{apples} \rightarrow 3 ~\mathbf{fruits} \\ 2 ~\color{blue}{oranges} \rightarrow 2~\mathbf{fruits} $$ And then you added "3 fruits" and "2 fruits" in the same way as we added the tiles above.
Now, let's say we have any noun $x$, such that $3x$ means we have $3$ of those $x$(in the same way as $3$ fingers, or $3$ inches) and $2x$ means we have $2$ of those. If we say that we are given $3x$ and $2x$ then how many $x$ do I have in total? We can surely apply that tiles example once again to see things clearly, because it is stated that $x$ is any noun. Let's visualize $x$ by some strange looking figure and draw $3$ and $2$ of them
As the question strictly doesn't allow Set Theory's or Peano's Axiom (works of Gottlob Frege, Bertrand Russell) definition of addition so I wouldn't touch on that and end my answer here.