According to Wikipedia, the curvature of the graph of a function $f$ is given by the following ratio (assuming second-differentiability).
$$\mathscr{k}_f(x) = \frac{f^{\prime\prime}(x)}{(1 + [f^{\prime}(x)]^2)^{\frac{3}{2}}}$$
The denominator of $\mathscr{k}_f(x)$ is nearly of the form $(a^2 + b^2)^{\frac{1}{2}}$ that makes me think about it as the radius of a circle, but this intuition is cut short by taking that "radius" to the third power. Where does this third power come from in the derivation or definition of this functional?


The curvature $K$ is defined as (the absolute value of) the rate of change of the angle of the curve's tangent with respect to the curve's arc length. That is, for $$y = f(x)$$ $$K = |\frac{d\theta}{ds}|$$
where $\theta$ is the angle of the tangent and $s$ is the arc length.
Now $$\tan\theta = f'(x) = y'$$ so $$\sec^2\theta\frac{d\theta}{dx} = y''$$ $$(1+\tan^2\theta)\frac{d\theta}{dx} = y''$$ $$(1+y'^2)\frac{d\theta}{dx} = y''$$ Therefore $$\frac{d\theta}{dx} = \frac{y''}{1+y'^2}$$
From Pythagoras' theorem, $$ds^2 = dx^2 + dy^2$$ so $$\frac{ds}{dx} = (1 + y'^2)^\frac12$$
And since $$K = |\frac{d\theta}{ds}| = |\frac{d\theta}{dx} \frac{dx}{ds}|$$ we have $$K = \frac{|y''|}{(1+y'^2)^\frac32}$$
(The denominator is guaranteed to be positive).
You should verify that a circle has constant curvature, which is the reciprocal of its radius.