Create a multivariate function from a set of points

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I am looking to construct a graph for illustrative purposes. I have a few restrictions that come from visualizing how the graph should look, in the form of $f(x,y) = z$.

  • $f(\infty,\infty) = \infty$

  • $0 < f(\infty,0) < \infty$

  • $f(0,\infty) = f(\infty,0)$

  • $f(0,0) = 0$

  • $f(-\infty,-\infty) = -\infty$

  • $f(\infty,-\infty) = -|f(\infty,0)|$

And for illustrative reasons, the negative-$x$ does not matter.

How would one go about approaching this?