Why is it correct to use these terms in the following calculation of upside/downside/expected value?
Suppose the chance of missing a meeting is 20% and there is a 25% chance the client will sign a big deal at this meeting. The deal itself is worth $1 million.
upside value = (1 - 0.2) * 0.25 * 1000000 = $200,000
if we miss the meeting there's a 95% chance the client will break relations
downside value = (1 - 0.2) * 0.95 * 0.25 * 1000000 = $47500
expected value = 200000 - 47500 = $152500
$152500 in favor of trying to make the meeting.
What would be an example that favor's skipping the meeting?
I am not sure what you mean by upside and downside in your expected value calculation, but the probability of the deal going through and the expected value of the event, $E$ can be calculated as follows. From the law of total probability
$$P(D) = P(D|M)P(M) + P(D|\neg M)P(\neg M)$$
where $P(D)$ is the probability of making the deal and $P(M)$ is the probability of missing the meeting. The values can be calculated from the given information, so $$ P(D) = 0.05 \times 0.2 + 0.25 \times 0.8 = 0.21.$$
Now, there are 4 possible outcomes for the event $E$. The expected value is the outcome times the probability of each outcome where the outcome is gaining 1 million or gaining 0, so \begin{align} E[E] &= 1 \times P(D \cap M) + 1 \times P(D \cap \neg M) + 0 \times P(\neg D \cap M) + 0 \times P(\neg D \cap \neg M) \\ E[E] &= P(M)P(D|M) + P(D)P(\neg M| D) \\ E[E] &= 0.2 \times 0.05 + 0.21 \times (1-0.0476) = 0.21 \end{align}
where $P(\neg M| D) = 1 - P(M|D)$ and $P(M|D)$ can be calculated from Bayes' rule. So, the expected value is 0.21 million, so \$210,000.